If anyone knows about keeping it fresh with a long term relationship, it’s me. I have only ever had two real relationships in my whole 24 (almost 25) years. My first relationship began when I was 14, we were together for 7 months, which is a pretty long time for a teenage relationship, especially considering it was my first…
My second relationship began a month after my first one ended, and we have been together for almost 10 years since then. Obviously a lot has changed from when we started dating at just 15 years of age. We have faced many different milestones, such as first jobs, gaining our driving licenses and turning 18. Each of these milestones created new challenges for our relationships. In order to make it through and develop a strong lasting and trusting relationship the following tips are of utmost importance:
1) Communication is key
You need to be able to talk to your partner, honestly and openly. If you are afraid to really open up to your partner about your feelings, then they are unlikely to be the one for you. If you have concerns about issues in your relationship you must be able to voice those concerns. You must also be able to listen to your partner. A relationship is a partnership, you have to work together on building trust together.
2) Date Nights!
Letting your relationship go stale and turn into a habit can cause frustrations to mount. If all you do is sit at home together then it is likely you will grow resentful to one another. It is important to have regular date nights in order to keep things fresh and interesting. Date nights/days don’t have to break the bank. Just simply getting out of the house and doing something together can freshen up your relationship and keep that spark alive. Things like an adventure to a national park or a picnic on the beach or even a date to the cinema.
3) Don’t lose yourself
Even though you are in a relationship and you may want to spend every moment with the person you love, it is important to maintain some independence. Ensure that you have your own hobbies and your own friends and go out with them and encourage your partner to do the same. It is important that you don’t lose yourself and your friends. Becoming dependant can make you seem clingy and needy, and that is not attractive! Also preventing your partner from spending time with their friends will only cause them to resent you and that is a recipe for a breakup!
4) Don’t publish your problems to the World
Social media is a massive problem for relationships in this day and age. Just remember that once you post it it cannot be unseen. Your problems should be between the two of you and the two of you alone. Resolve your problems face to face.
5) It’s all about GIVE and TAKE
A relationship, like I mentioned earlier is a partnership. It’s all about give and take. If you get home first and you know your partner is getting home late, cook them a nice meal and tidy up. Don’t expect too much from your partner, but also don’t settle for someone who just takes takes takes. Be with someone who supports you and you in turn support them.
6) Don’t let people get in the middle of your relationship
Don’t publish your problems to social media so that Susan who you barely know can stick her two pence in. It’s no one else’s business. Don’t let your family and friends get involved in your relationship issues, even if they are just trying to help. A relationship is between two people.. ever heard of the saying “three’s a crowd”!
7) Pick your Battles
Sometimes it’s just not worth it. Is it really worth bringing up that thing he/she did last year that annoyed you because you’re in a bad mood, no it isn’t. Is it really worth being stubborn in an argument and choosing your pride over the one you love. Sometimes we just have to forget about past issues and swallow our pride. Arguing about petty things can put a strain on your relationship and if you want it to last then just don’t.
8) Try new things
Yes i’m talking about the bedroom! It’s all too easy to fall into the habit of lazy spooning sex BUT it is important to keep things passionate in the bedroom in order to prevent that spark from dying out. Talk to your partner about their bedroom fantasies and try new things together. Obviously don’t feel forced into something that you are not comfortable with. Try experimenting with different toys and outfits. Make sure that you are both comfortable and don’t force anything, forcing is a big no no.
It is so important that there is mutual respect in your relationship. Don’t be with someone who has no respect for you and don’t be with someone who you don’t respect. Respect is essential. In order for a relationship to last you have to respect your partners opinions even if you don’t agree.
10) Sometimes a break is needed
Sometimes relationships go stale, you argue all the time, you aren’t communicating well and you feel as though you have lost yourselves. Sometimes a break can help. Some time to rebuild yourself and figure out what it is you really want out of life and a life partner. Sometimes you will realise that you are better off without that person and that is fine. And sometimes you may end up back with that person, if the break has been successful then you will have both had the time needed to work on yourselves and thus be able to continue with a happy, and healthy relationship going forward.